Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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