susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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