is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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