Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
