Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
