when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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