Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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