3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
