I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I cannot find my penis.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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