i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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