guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
