And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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