You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
