the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's blow job season.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
