Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
