Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
