Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
