Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
