you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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