i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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