when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
