so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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