are you still at the devil's house?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
