from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
