Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
