If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
