a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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