i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
