I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
