If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
