D3 body, D1 cock
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
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