Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
