She is in my trunk
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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