It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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