You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
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