If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
