How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Still dying that you shit outside
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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