Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
