if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I will be naked everywhere
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
