You work out of a Hotel?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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