last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
