Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
