I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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