I just cut my nipple shaving
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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