I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
