I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
