Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
