you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
