i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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