Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
