break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
