you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
