the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
