He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
