8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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