It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
