I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
