Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
