I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
