I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
