Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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